how much time should you spend with your spouse

The Importance of Spending Time with Your Spouse

Marriage can be an incredibly beautiful and fulfilling experience. However, relational challenges are inevitable and can often be quite distressing. Therefore, it is important to make time for your spouse in order to have a thriving marriage.

Research has shown that couples who spend regular quality time together have better emotional intimacy, communication, reduced stress levels, and a greater sense of partnership and teamwork. Unfortunately, most couples do not dedicate enough time to their relationships. The average American couple only spends 3.5 minutes in meaningful conversation each day.

In this article, we will explore the benefits of spending time with your spouse and how to determine the right amount of time for you.

The Benefits of Spending Time with Your Spouse

Spending quality time with your spouse can have numerous benefits for your relationship. Here are some of them.

Increased Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is a key component of any successful marriage. It involves being able to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of rejection or judgment.

Couples who spend more quality time together report higher levels of emotional intimacy. When you spend time with your spouse, there is an opportunity to discuss things that matter to you both and share experiences that deepen the connection between you two.

Improved Communication

A healthy marriage is founded on good communication. Spending time with your partner helps foster open communication channels that allow you both to listen and empathize with each other.

This exchange strengthens the couple’s bond and allows them to address issues before they escalate into something more significant and difficult to deal with.

Reduced Stress Levels

The demands of modern life can put a lot of pressure on couples and weaken the bond in their marriage. However, spending some quality time relaxing with your spouse has been shown to reduce stress levels.

When couples share time together engaging in calming activities like taking walks, cooking together or just cuddling on the couch, it can induce relaxation and leave both parties feeling at ease.

Enhanced Sense of Partnership and Teamwork

Couples who are intentional about spending time together tend to perceive their relationship from a team-based perspective. A team mentality involves cooperation, mutual support, and recognizing the common goals that you share.

When you spend time with your spouse, you reinforce this mindset by working together to achieve common goals, whether it’s harmonizing work-life balance or tackling household responsibilities. This partnership strengthens the bond between a couple which improves their chances of staying together through ups and downs.

Identifying How Much Time to Spend Together

The first step to maximizing your quality time is to determine how much time you should dedicate to your spouse in the first place. You don’t want excessive demands on family time so also be aware of any childcare responsibilities since failing to arrange that could lead into issues in your relationship later on.

Work Schedules and Commitments

Your work commitments will inevitably affect how much quality time you can allot to your spouse. Bloated work schedules might require recognition and compromise; therefore, communication is key.

You need an open line of communication with your partner about when you get home each day so you know exactly how much time you’ll have available for each other. If there are any changes in shifts at work or sick days then it is important to stay informed and remain flexible. 

Hobbies, Interests, and Family Responsibilities

Couples must also discuss what they enjoy doing together, and how to fit those activities into their schedules. One cannot go off wandering on their own while the other is at home or running other errands. Therefore, sacrifices need to be made so that you both can carve out time for each other. 

In addition to work-related commitments, couples should plan around their family responsibilities such as taking care of the children, cooking meals, grocery shopping and more. Make a schedule on paper highlighting when certain things need to be done and allocate time dedicated for family events or just something simple like watching a movie together.

Tips for Creating a Schedule that Works

Here are some tips that will help you create a schedule that is conducive to spending quality time with your spouse:

  • Communicate Openly With Your Partner About Your Needs and Expectations:
  • Partner communication is key when it comes to scheduling. Discuss each other’s priorities, schedules and pick a time that suits you both best.

  • Plan Ahead and Be Realistic About the Time You Have Available:
  • You don’t have to always take the lead on setting up the consultations, But it is important that you show effort in planning your schedule together in advance.

  • Prioritize Quality over Quantity:
  • You don’t need much time, but whatever time you do use should be of high quality.

Maximizing Quality Time Together

Quality time refers not only to the amount of time spent with each other but also the activities involved in it. Here are some suggestions for activities that promote closeness:

Trying New Things Together

Break out of your comfort zone and try new things together. Going on an adventure or learning a new skill with your spouse deepens the bond by getting both of you to step out of your habitual routine.

Practicing Active Listening

Active listening is a critical component of healthy communication. It involves paying complete attention, reacting appropriately, and responding with empathy and respect. This promotes emotional intimacy, fosters healthy communication channels, and strengthens the bond between couples.

Carving Out Dedicated Alone Time

Ensure that you are available to meet each other’s personal needs too. Show some form of commonality, and give space for personal indulgence to promote self confidence or self-esteem projects. Cut off all external distractions by dedicating this time only for yourselves.

Traveling Together

A change of scenery can do wonders for a relationship; spending time in a foreign place and exploring it together will create beautiful memories and establish fondness in newly explored places. 

Barriers To Spending Time Together

Job Demands and Work-Life Balance Issues 

The most common barrier between couples is work-life balance issues which are crucial to maintaining happy relationships. Long hours at work may cause fatigue and prevent couples from spending quality time together.

If you are facing work-life balance issues, communicate with your employer and take steps to create some boundaries. Perhaps negotiating flexible hours would be worth considering or finding another job with fewer demands will lead to more available time with your spouse.

Technology Distractions

There is no doubt that technology has greatly disrupted our lives – both positively and negatively. Negative impacts may arise from excessive usage of social media, video games or just streaming through devices. 

Technology, including smartphones and the internet, has brought people closer to acquire a range of information, knowledge, and skills. Conversely, it also separates couples since people focus their time on their devices rather than face to face interactions. 

Overcoming Barriers to Increased Quality Time Together

Lifestyle Changes

Prioritize physical activities such as going to the gym together or depending on how your schedule is defined, dedicate some other time for this partnership.

You can also set behavior limits for Smartphone and digital devices usage. Set specific time limits for using such modern tools. Also, set “technology-free-zone” periods – which can be an hour or two connecting with each other over dinner or watching a movie together in bed. 


The busyness of everyday life may derail your communication with your spouse; however, there are ways to stay communicated. Agree on communication channels that work best for you. Some couples use WhatsApp, Skype any other online device that allows you to share videos or photos anytime and anywhere.

Asking for Help

It’s okay to reach out when help is needed so that you don’t stretch yourself thin. By sharing responsibilities with trusted friends and families you can rid yourselves of burdensome tasks. 

Open up courses for kids’ extracurricular activities that would allow parents some time off and free schedules to pursue their passions.

In Conclusion, 

Spending quality time with your spouse is crucial for your marriage. Couples who prioritize spending time together share emotional intimacy, improved communication, reduced stress levels and increased teamwork spirit – which all contribute towards creating a healthy relationship that lasts forever.

In order to derive these benefits, couples must first identify the appropriate amount of time they want to dedicate to their relationship. Then strike a balance between work, family, personal interests and other extracurricular activities. 

Once a schedule that works for both the couple and individual needs is established, focus on quality over quantity,  maximize this time so that it’s efficient and productive for couples. Clear any barriers by making lifestyle changes such as unplugging from technology while at home, communicating effectively with a partner and getting help when overcome by extra responsibilities. 

If these steps are followed well, couples can build stronger bonds together for life-lasting love. 

Frequently Asked Questions About Spending Time with Your Spouse

Q: Is there any specific time I should spend with my spouse?

A: It depends on the couple’s preferences, work schedules and other commitments. However, it is generally recommended to spend at least 20 minutes a day and a few hours a week exclusively with each other.

Q: Can quality time be replaced with quantity time?

A: No. Quality time is essential for a healthy relationship as it allows couples to connect and build deeper emotional intimacy. However, spending quality time can also be done while doing activities together for an extended period.

Q: What are some activities that couples can do together?

A: Couples can engage in various activities such as cooking, hiking, dancing, reading a book together or taking up a new hobby. The key is to find something that both parties enjoy and have fun doing together.

Q: Should you prioritize your spouse over everything else?

A: While your spouse is important, it’s crucial to balance your personal, family and work commitments. Making time for your spouse is essential but not at the cost of neglecting other essential aspects of life.

Q: Can being too busy be an excuse not to spend time with your spouse?

A: No. Everyone has their own schedule and commitments. However, couples must learn to plan their schedules better and communicate if they are feeling neglected or need more attention.

Q: What can you do if you are in a long-distance relationship?

  • Maintain regular communication through phone calls or video chats
  • The occasional surprise visit
  • Plan virtual date nights
  • Send thoughtful gifts or letters.

Q: What if one person in a relationship needs more alone time?

A: It’s essential to respect each other’s space and needs. However, communication is vital to ensure that both parties feel heard and understood. Find a balance where both partners feel comfortable and respected.

Remember, spending quality time with your spouse is an investment in your relationship. The more effort you put into it, the stronger, happier and more fulfilling it will become.

keys takeaways

4 Keys Takeaways for “How Much Time Should You Spend with Your Spouse?”

  1. Quality over Quantity: It’s not about how much time you spend, but the quality of that time that matters.
  2. Communication is Key: Discuss with your spouse what works best for both of you and ensure that you’re on the same page.
  3. Prioritize your marriage: Remember to make time for your spouse amidst the other demands of life.
  4. Everyone is different: There’s no golden rule for how much time spouses should spend together as every couple is unique in their needs and preferences.

Ultimately, it’s up to you and your spouse to determine what works best for your relationship. Keeping an open line of communication, prioritizing each other, and focusing on quality time are key components to a happy, healthy partnership.